When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
NORM MACDONALD
The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
NORM MACDONALD