“If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.”

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.

There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.

Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.

The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.

The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.

We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.

The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.

I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.

It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.

I have one desire now – to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it.

If one does not attach himself to people and desires, never shall his heart be broken. But then, does he ever truly live?

The people of the Middle East share the desire for freedom. We have an opportunity – and an obligation – to help them turn this desire into reality.

Misery doesn’t love just any company it desires the kind presence only loneliness feeds but that’s not love at all. – love doesn’t eat it bleeds.

Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.

Christianity was simple: fight your desires in order to please God.

Your desires will very often be contradictory and so will your strengths. All of our contradictions make us whole.

Speak the truth. Affirm your desire. Declare your intentions. Recall your successes. Your psyche will believe you. Your body will feel you. Your Soul will thank you for the straight-up communication.