There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
NORM MACDONALD
Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD