A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
NORM MACDONALDThe reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
NORM MACDONALD