The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
NORM MACDONALDThey that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
NORM MACDONALD