“They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.”

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.

The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.

I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.

It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.

I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.

I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.

Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.

Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.

Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.

Internal character: how you behave when no one is watching.

Contraries are cured by contraries.

To understand ourself, we must understand our “selves,” or the parts of us that motivate our thoughts, decisions, and behaviors.

The behaviour of lovers is oscillating like the moon, and unpredictable as the weather.

We know of no behavior in ants or any other social insects that can be construed as play.

The sillier the market’s behavior, the greater the opportunity for the business like investor.

The more you understand how your salvation isn’t about your behavior, the more radically your behavior will change.

All I try to do is create an atmosphere that seems comfortable enough, that it removes tension and everyone feels free. If they feel free then behaviour happens, small moments happen and that’s what ultimately works the best for me.