A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
NORM MACDONALDThough you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
NORM MACDONALD