I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
NORM MACDONALDA suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD