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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

Norm MacDonald

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
NORM MACDONALD

Activity Ambition Energy Greatness Happiness
Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
NORM MACDONALD

Correct Discover Improvement Mistake Yourself
When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
NORM MACDONALD

Acceptance Audience Goodness People
I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALD

Ambition Myself One Liner
All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
NORM MACDONALD

Business Confidence Disappointment Future Learning People Weakness
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
NORM MACDONALD

Better Ignorance Knowledge Philosophy
I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
NORM MACDONALD

Difference Fight Fun Myself See
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Man Money Sick Win Yourself
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
NORM MACDONALD

Life Philosophy Principle Solid Wisdom
A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
NORM MACDONALD

Crime Evil Greatness Injustice Man Practice Success Thinking World
I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
NORM MACDONALD

End Fantasy Friendship Love Order Politics Simplicity Sports World
The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
NORM MACDONALD

Beginning Knowledge Mistake Philosophy Wisdom
They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
NORM MACDONALD

Afraid Dog Funny Identity Myself Reality Worry
Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
NORM MACDONALD

Acknowledgement Hypocrisy Shame
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
NORM MACDONALD

Confidence Easy Man Temptation Violence
As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
NORM MACDONALD

Body Heart Occasion Passion Soul Tranquility
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Funny Material Myself Protection Value
I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
NORM MACDONALD

Enough Funny Myself Natural Reality Sound
I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
NORM MACDONALD

Computer Enough Food Money Myself Need Right Technology Yourself
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
NORM MACDONALD

Care Learning Man Myself
They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Fate Fools Ignorance Tragedy
We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
NORM MACDONALD

Danger Fear Ourselves Philosophy Situation Suffering
The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
NORM MACDONALD

Different Moral Nation Reading
I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
NORM MACDONALD

Cook Intelligence Man Myself Thankful Woman
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
NORM MACDONALD

Adversity Dangerous Escape Reason Suffering Understand
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Day Death Funny Hospital Man Myself Old Sick
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
NORM MACDONALD

Action Affect Deep Future Ourselves Regret

I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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