Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
NORM MACDONALDScientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
NORM MACDONALD