There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
NORM MACDONALDScientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
NORM MACDONALD