The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
NORM MACDONALDI think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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