The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
NORM MACDONALD
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
NORM MACDONALD -
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD -
As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
NORM MACDONALD -
The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
NORM MACDONALD -
I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD -
There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
NORM MACDONALD -
I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
NORM MACDONALD -
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
NORM MACDONALD -
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
NORM MACDONALD -
I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
NORM MACDONALD -
Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
NORM MACDONALD -
Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
NORM MACDONALD -
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
NORM MACDONALD