A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
MARK TWAINThere’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MARK TWAIN -
It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
MARK TWAIN -
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN -
Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
MARK TWAIN -
The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
MARK TWAIN -
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
MARK TWAIN -
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
MARK TWAIN -
I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
MARK TWAIN -
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
MARK TWAIN -
All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN -
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
MARK TWAIN -
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAIN -
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
MARK TWAIN







