In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAINThere’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
MARK TWAIN -
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
MARK TWAIN -
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
MARK TWAIN -
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
MARK TWAIN -
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN -
The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
MARK TWAIN -
In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
MARK TWAIN -
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAIN -
Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.
MARK TWAIN -
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAIN -
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN -
My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN -
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
MARK TWAIN -
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
MARK TWAIN -
I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
MARK TWAIN







