Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARXGo, and never darken my towels again.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX