Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARXGo, and never darken my towels again.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX