One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARXGo, and never darken my towels again.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX






