Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARXLearn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARXA man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXWhy, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARXI never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARXThe trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARXAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXIf you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARXMost young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARXPaying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARXWho says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARXWhile money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARXWell, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARXIn studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARXOne morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX