I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARXI never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARXTime wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARXI love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARXOne morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARXThe trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARXIf I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARXI find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARXMoney frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARXI think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARXPaying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARXShe got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARXI must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARXWhen you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARXA very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARXHumour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX