If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARXShe’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX