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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

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Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX

Huff Humour Leave
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX

Human Nature Humour Important One Liner Speak
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Comfortable Dog Goodness Peace Woman
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX

Bless Crack Light One Liner
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX

Deal Fake Honesty Humour Life Secret
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Deep Failure One Liner Unhappy
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX

Enough Inspirational Mistake Yourself
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Judge Jury Marriage One Liner
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Love Mother
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX

Angry Funny One Liner Towel
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX

Finding Happiness Hard Time Healing Laugh
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX

Interest Naked Sex True
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX

Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Fetch Funny Understand
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX

Hear Memories Past Stop Story
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Down Human Nature Myself Pick

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