We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARXYesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX