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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

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Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Bouquet Bride Groom Hollywood Marriage Throw
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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Education Love One Liner Reading
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Funny Love Man Myself
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Hear Memories Past Stop Story
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Anatomy Judgement Poverty
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Angry Funny One Liner Towel
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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Funny Leadership Man Women
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Footprint Photography Socks Upstairs
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Closer Holding Love One Liner Romance
Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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Huff Humour Leave
Any place I hang my head is home.
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Hang Head Home One Liner Place

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