Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARXA year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX