Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARXA year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX