If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARXA year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX