Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXLaugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX