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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX

Bore Hole Insult Run
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Closer Holding Love One Liner Romance
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
All geniuses die young.
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Die Genius One Liner Young
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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Army Contradiction Intelligence Military One Liner
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Funny Girlfriend Meet Naughty Wife
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Fetch Funny Understand
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX

Footprint Photography Socks Upstairs
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Edition One Liner Writing
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX

Against Attitude
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX

Education Heart Heart Beat Listen Metabolism Study
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Mind Smoking
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX

Insult One Liner Respect
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX

Animal Black Cat Cross Funny Humour Path

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