We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARXLaugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX






