Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARXLaugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX