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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.

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Funny Hero Heroine Tits

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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Interesting Reality Sense Theory
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Book Education Humour Read Room Television
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Humour Madness One Liner Reason
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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Cigar Love Mouth Relationship
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Exitement Fun Life One Liner Travel Wrong
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Funny Humour Mind Smoking
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Against Attitude
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Children Fetch Funny Understand
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Beat Confidence Goodness Head Mind Revenge War
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Born Democracy People Republic
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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Book Comfortable Dog Goodness Peace Woman

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