Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARXI find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX