Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARXI find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX