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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.

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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX

Crazy Decent Life Meal Place Reality
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Funny Missing One Liner Women
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Age Birthday Interesting Subject
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Arrow Banana Fly Fruit Time
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Attitude Confidence
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Closer Holding Love One Liner Romance
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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Art Humour Water
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Doubt Interfere Marriage People Romance Sex Wife
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Book Education Humour Read Room Television
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Beat Confidence Goodness Head Mind Revenge War
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Advance Luck One Liner Welcome Women
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women

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