black
grey
blue
red
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.

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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX

Against Attitude
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Hear Memories Past Stop Story
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Freedom Money Thinking
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Age Birthday Interesting Subject
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Drunk Febuary Morning
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Love Man Romance Room
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Funny Missing One Liner Women
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Exitement Fun Life One Liner Travel Wrong
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Insult One Liner Respect
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Father Funny Humour Plastic Surgeon Surgeon Women
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Admit Age Born Early Life
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX

Event Eyes Happiness Inspirational Morning Myself Power Present Unhappiness

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