If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARXThose are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX