Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARXThose are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX






