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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.

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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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All geniuses die young.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Time wounds all heels.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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