Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARXThose are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX