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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.

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Attitude Life Principles Rules

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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Poverty State Work
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Exception Face Forget Humour
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Alcohol Beer Believe Funny
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Bouquet Bride Groom Hollywood Marriage Throw
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Admit Age Born Early Life
Humour is reason gone mad.
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Humour Madness One Liner Reason
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Footprint Photography Socks Upstairs
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater

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