If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXThose are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX






