Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARXI intend to live forever, or die trying.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX






