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I intend to live forever, or die trying.

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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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