If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARXI intend to live forever, or die trying.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX