Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARXSomebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX






