Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARXGo, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARXI am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARXThe secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARXAll people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARXIf I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARXOnce I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARXI never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARXWho says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARXJust give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARXWhen you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARXI never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARXIf you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARXOnly one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARXDo you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX