I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARXI think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX