I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX






