While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX