If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARXTime flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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All geniuses die young.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX