Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARXTime flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX






