Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX