Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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I only write first editions.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX