Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX






