The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARXOnce I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX