I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARXDie in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARXWell, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARXI think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARXDo you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARXRoom service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARXI find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARXIf a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARXSome people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARXI wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARXI don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARXGetting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARXPaying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARXWhy don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX