Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARXTime wounds all heels.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX






