Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARXI never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX