I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARXI never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX