A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARXI never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX