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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

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Best Friend Deep Failure One Liner Unhappy

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Funny Hospital Humour Parked Run Taxi
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Freedom Money Thinking
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Book Humour Laughter Moments Read
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Father Funny Humour Plastic Surgeon Surgeon Women
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Dreamss Hairs Nurse Red Romance
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Poverty State Work
Time wounds all heels.
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Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Time Wound
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Enough Inspirational Mistake Yourself
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Drunk Febuary Morning
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Funny Love Man Myself
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Attitude Confidence
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Hear Memories Past Stop Story
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Die Forever Inspirational One Liner Positive Try

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