One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARXNo one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX






