Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARXNo one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX