Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARXDo you mind if I don’t smoke?
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Time wounds all heels.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX






