While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARXDo you mind if I don’t smoke?
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX