Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARXBefore I speak, I have something important to say.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX