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Before I speak, I have something important to say.

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Human Nature Humour Important One Liner Speak

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Mind Smoking
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Father Funny Humour Plastic Surgeon Surgeon Women
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Funny Girlfriend Meet Naughty Wife
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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Cigar Love Mouth Relationship
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Education Reading Television
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX

Footprint Photography Socks Upstairs
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX

Against Attitude
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX

Closer Holding Love One Liner Romance
Time wounds all heels.
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Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Time Wound
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX

Applesauce Cranberry Taste
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX

Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Life Principles Rules
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater

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