If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARXNext time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX






