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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

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Attitude Insult One Liner Remind Talk Time

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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX

Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Die Forever Inspirational One Liner Positive Try
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Fly Love Money Reality Truth
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Book Education Humour Read Room Television
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Poverty State Work
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Anatomy Judgement Poverty
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Funny Humour Mind Smoking
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Against Attitude
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Drunk Febuary Morning
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Humour Meet Night Own Theater

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