Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARXNext time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX