If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARXNext time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX