Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARXA man is only as old as the woman he feels.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX