Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARXA man is only as old as the woman he feels.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX