Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARXA man is only as old as the woman he feels.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX