I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARXA man is only as old as the woman he feels.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX