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The only real laughter comes from despair.

Groucho Marx

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX

Cigar Love Mouth Relationship
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Fetch Funny Understand
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX

Deal Fake Honesty Humour Life Secret
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX

Alcohol Beer Believe Funny
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX

Love Man Romance Room
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Girlfriend Meet Naughty Wife
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Missing One Liner Women
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX

Arrow Banana Fly Fruit Time
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX

Birthday Live Old Problem
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX

Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Humour Laughter Moments Read
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Love Man Myself
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX

Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself

The only real laughter comes from despair.

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The only real laughter comes from despair.

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