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The only real laughter comes from despair.

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Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace

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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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