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The only real laughter comes from despair.

Groucho Marx

I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX

Admit Age Born Early Life
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX

Freedom Money Thinking
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX

Love Man Romance Room
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX

Alcohol Beer Believe Funny
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX

Age Birthday Interesting Subject
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Meet Night Own Theater
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX

Club Freedom Member
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Book Darkness Dog Friendship Read
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX

Choose Happiness Misery Money
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX

Enough Inspirational Mistake Yourself
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX

Footprint Photography Socks Upstairs
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Education Reading Television
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX

Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX

Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay

The only real laughter comes from despair.

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The only real laughter comes from despair.

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