Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARXAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX