Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARXAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX