Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARXAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX