Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARXLove flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX






