Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARXI only write first editions.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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I only write first editions.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX