Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARXBlessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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All geniuses die young.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX