If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARXIn studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX