She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARXIn studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX