Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARXIn studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX






