Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARXQuote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARXTime wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARXAge is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARXI intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARXI find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARXI never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARXMy mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARXDon’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARXMan does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARXIf you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARXI don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARXLove flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARXThe trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARXI’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX