In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARXWhoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX