I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARXWhoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX