Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARXWhoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX






