While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARXWell, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX






