Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARXWell, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Time wounds all heels.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX