In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARXIf you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX