Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARXIf you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX