He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARXIf you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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I only write first editions.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX