I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARXA hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX






