Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARXEither this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX