I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARXEither this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX