A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARXEither this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX