I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARXWell, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARXBefore I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARXOne morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARXTime wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARXThe trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARXBlessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARXYesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXDie in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARXI wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARXDo you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARXDon’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARXI must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARXGo, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX