If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARXRoom service? Send up a larger room.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX