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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Fools Trouble Writing Yourself
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Deal Fake Honesty Humour Life Secret
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Closer Holding Love One Liner Romance
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Finding Happiness Hard Time Healing Laugh
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Exception Face Forget Humour
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Applesauce Cranberry Taste
Humour is reason gone mad.
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Humour Madness One Liner Reason
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Age Birthday Interesting Subject
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Advance Luck One Liner Welcome Women
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Alcohol Beer Believe Funny
Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Angry Funny One Liner Towel
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Arrow Banana Fly Fruit Time

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