I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARXRoom service? Send up a larger room.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX