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Room service? Send up a larger room.

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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Drunk Febuary Morning
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Interest Naked Sex True
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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