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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.

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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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All geniuses die young.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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