In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARXIf you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX