A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARXIf you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX